One day a policeman was sitting on the side of the freeway when a man
drives
by with a car full of penguins. So naturally the policeman pulls him
over.

"Hey, you need to take these penguins to the zoo." He said.

"OK." The guy said.

Two hours later the same guy drives by except now the penguins are
wearing
sun glasses. The policeman pulls him over again.

"Listen man, i said to take these penguins to the zoo!"

"I did," The guy began,"They had a blast.Now we're going to the beach!"

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Diet for Daddy
This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping
sound
coming from his parents room.
Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I
hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're
bouncing up and down on him."
His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh...well...ah....well I'm
bouncing
on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."
And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!"
His mom says, "Why?!?"
And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you
leave
each day and blows him back up!"
__________________________________________________________

>This guy was stranded on a desert island with Cindy Crawford. He was
>cool, and he didn't make any moves towards her for several weeks.
>Finally one day he asked her if maybe they could start up a physical
>relationship, so as to attend to each other's needs. Cindy said she
>was game, and a very nice sexual relationship began.
>
>Everything was great for about 4 months. One day the guy goes to Cindy
>and says, "I'm having this problem... It's kind of a guy thing, but I
>need to ask you a favor." Cindy replied "Okay," and he says, "Can I
>borrow your eyebrow pencil?" Cindy looks at him a little funny, but
>answers, "Sure, you can borrow my eyebrow pencil."
>
>The guy then says, "Do you mind if I use the eyebrow pencil to draw a
>mustache on you?" Cindy is getting a little worried, but says "Okay."
>And so the guy draws a mustache on her. Then the guy said, "Can you
>wear some of my guy clothing, I need for you to look more like a man?"
>
>Cindy is getting a little disappointed at this point, but says "I
>guess so," and puts on some of his clothes. Then the guy says to
>Cindy, "Do you mind if I call you Fred?" Cindy is now getting very
>dejected, and says "No, I guess not, you can call me Fred." So then
>the guy reaches out and grabs Cindy by the arms and shouts:
>
>"Fred, You won't believe who I have been sleeping with these past 4
>months!!!"